


Stitch Me Up

by Shattered_Gem



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Guilt, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Suicide Attempt, Unconditional Love, recovering, self blame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-15 03:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4591620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shattered_Gem/pseuds/Shattered_Gem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an incident that leaves Matt in the hospital, Mello steps up to help him. But as Matt heals, Mello breaks down. For every time Matt winces when he breathes, Mello wants to take all of his pain because he deserves it. Mello only blames himself, no matter how many times Matt whispers, "you saved my life."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That Day

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Death Note, or any of the characters.

That day. I remember too much about it.

 

         The sunrise had been a vibrant vermillion color. The color of his hair. The color of my face the first time I talked to him.

         I knew he wasn’t well. I knew something was wrong. He kept insisting he was fine, and I knew if I fought him on it, I’d lose.

         That night I had fallen asleep at the base after trying to read one too many police reports.

         That morning I woke up to my phone ringing on the table next to my head.

         “Matt?”

         “I...” long pause, “love…” rasps and gasps, “you…” and then the sound of him dropping the phone.

         That moment I didn’t move. Or breathe. I ran. Even with the bike he created, designed to go way faster than street legal, it took too long to get back home.

         “Matt?!” Frantic.

         “Mail fucking Jeevas where are you?” Then I walked into the kitchen.

         That moment, I broke. I grabbed the phone 9-1-1, and yelled at them to track me. I put his head in my lap and could feel my hands become sticky from the blood.

         “Stay with me.”

         I picked up the empty pill bottle. Vicodin. My painkillers from the burn. There had been easily over a hundred pills in that bottle and only twenty-five were strewn across the floor, leaving the other seventy-five in his system. If two was enough to knock me out, I didn’t even want to think about what seventy-five can do.

         Then there were his arms, lying limp and stained red, looking as though they had been put through a wood chipper. His breathing was shallow and his heartbeat was hammering way too fast, and way too strong. It reminded me of the code we had has kids, one for no, two for yes, three for okay.

         “Stay with me.” I let myself believe the next two heartbeats were telling me yes.

**That day, his heart stopped three times.**

**That day, I almost lost him three times.**

 

         That night while he was still unconscious, I crawled up into the hospital bed and held him. I took his hand cold hand in mine and buried my face into his shoulder.

         “Don’t leave me. I’m not a good man, and I don’t deserve you, but I love you, I love you so much. I realized that the day we were out climbing on the trees and your shoelace got stuck. You hung upside down for _hours_ , insisting you could do it yourself. Do you remember that?

“Or the day you accidently drank the strawberry lube we found in L’s desk drawer? What about the first time you kissed me and I was so startled that I fell off our windowsill and landed on that old, yellow, slide? Or how ever since you found me hiding between the bed and the wall sobbing because of thunder, you haven’t let me sleep alone during a storm?

         “I got so caught up in wanting to be first that I forgot the only thing I truly wanted; you. I love you Mail, and I swear I will never leave you again.”

         Then, knowing he couldn’t hear me, I whispered, “Mail Jeevas, will you marry me?” My hand was squeezed, one…two… two means yes.

**Matt. He’s awake.**

**(present)**

 

         I look up at him and see him smiling even though there are tears on his cheeks. I lightly brush them away with the back of my hand.

         “Can you talk?” 1 squeeze. _No_

         “Does it hurt?” 1 squeeze, then he looks away from me, ashamed, and squeezes my hand again. _Yes_

         “Do you want me to get a nurse?” _No_

“I’ll have to at some point.” _Okay_

“You didn’t hear my speech, right?” He smiles.

         “So you did?” _Yes_

“Oh.” I hide behind my hair and curl into him more. He takes the hand that isn’t holding mine and brings it to my bicep, then he starts tracing with his finger.

         “What are you-oh.” He’s tracing letters.

 

**_N-O-I-T-W-A-S-B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L_ **

 

         “You should get some sleep.” 1 aggressive squeeze.

         “So I guess that’s out of the question.” I murmur to myself. 2 squeezes.

         “I love you.” He takes his hand and moves it to my chest, grabbing my hand along the way. Our hands are on my chest, his over mine. Then he moves our hands to his chest- no, not his chest, his _heart_.

         “Our hearts.” It was only a soft whisper. 2 squeezes.

         His eyes start to flutter shut, but I can see him fighting it. I stroke his hair, cooing in his ear. I’m happy he’ll finally get some sleep, but I’m angry that it’s in this damned hospital bed.

         I try to wiggle out of his grip so that he’ll have the whole bed to himself, but when I start to move, he holds me tighter. Even sleeping he was afraid I’d leave. What have I done? I’ve made him terrified every second, every minute that I’d leave him.

         “I’ll never leave you.” Then I hold him tighter and let my eyes close.

 


	2. Emergency Room Intake Form

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Death Note. All rights go to their respected owners.

DATE OF CONSULTATION: 01/03/2014

REQUESTING PHYSICIAN: L Lawliet, MD

REASON FOR CONSULTATION: Dr. Lawliet ordered a psychological consultation of Mail Jeevas, who is currently in the emergency department.

IDENTIFICATION: A (22)-year-old white male. 

CONTACT PERSON: Mihael Keehl. He identified himself as Mail’s partner/boyfriend. There is a Release of Information form that was signed. I do not know how long he has known the patient; however, from what I gather they grew up together.

HISTORY OF PRESENT ILLNESS AND REASON FOR ADMISSION: The patient had indicated that he took 70 Vicodin last night. His record had an admission for one other intake on 01/26/2012; this was not for psychiatric reasons. 

PATIENT STATEMENT: Unknown.

CONTACT STATEMENT: The patient’s partner, Mihael, said that after Mail had his surgery on 01/26/2012, he has become “different”. Mihael also states that the Vicodin had been prescribed to him in October of 2011 due to a half body third degree burn, but had been locked in a safe that only had one key which he said he keeps on him at all times. 

EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT CHIEF COMPLAINT: The chief complaint was an overdose.

RECENT STRESSORS: Unknown.

PAST PSYCHIATRIC HISTORY: N/A

SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY INCOME (SSDI): Unknown.

HISTORY OF SELF-HARM BEHAVIOR: There is a history of self-harm behavior that was identified, by the scars, when Mail went into surgery.

HISTORY OF VIOLENT BEHAVIOR: The contact reported that both of them work/ed in the detective field and have had to fire their weapons.

FAMILY PSYCHIATRIC HISTORY: The family psychiatric history is unknown.

MEDICAL HISTORY: The medical history of this patient is unknown, other than he was admitted on 01/26/2012 for multiple gunshot wounds.

ALLERGIES: Allergies are unknown.

SUBSTANCE ABUSE HISTORY: The patient is unconscious and unresponsive at the time of intake, but contact reports that he drank “socially”, smoked cigarettes but quit on 10/17/2011. He reportedly smoked marijuana 2-3 times in his lifetime. 

SOCIAL HISTORY: Patient was born in 1992. The contact reported Mail was raised by an alcoholic mother for seven years before he was taken into an orphanage named Wammy’s House, for highly intelligent children. It is indicated this is where the patient and the contact met.

EDUCATION: Unknown

CURRENT WORK: The contact reports that the patient is a assistant computer profiler for law enforcement

PRIOR OCCUPATIONS: Prior occupations are unknown

CURRENT AND PAST LEGAL HISTORY: Unknown.

MARRIAGES: N/A

CHILDREN: N/A

CURRENT LIVING SITUATION: The contact reports that the patient lives with him in an apartment.

WEAPONS OR MEDICATIONS FOR OVERDOSE AVAILABLE: Contact’s revolver, and Vicodin, the ammunition to the revolver is kept in a safe with the Vicodin, with a key that contact reportedly always has with him. 

LOCAL SOCIAL SUPPORTS: Unknown

MENTAL STATUS: This patient took a recent overdose of Vicodin and is currently unconscious. Physical examination shows three bullet wound scars, multiple straight edge knife cut scars, healed cigarette burns, previous abuse and broken bones, most likely as a child, and signs of prolonged sexual abuse, most likely as a child. Contact seems to be the only person close to the patient and seems to be very concerned. More information can be provided when the patient has woken up.


End file.
